How to create a winning online dating profile

If you still think online dating carries a stigma, get your head out of the 1990s! Online dating is now the easiest way to meet people. But to make dating websites work for you, it’s best to put some thought into your profile.  Here are my top tips that will help you create the best online dating profile.  I’ll also give you loads of great tips on how to choose the best photos to get the highest responses!

DO choose an attractive photo of yourself for your profile

Dating profile photos are a separate category from most other photos. It might seem easiest to use a photo you already have, but stop and think about the message this photo will send within the context of a dating website. The headshot you use for business purposes is probably a bit too posed and/or stuffy-looking for purposes of attracting dates. The photo you post on your Facebook wall of you and your friends grinning and wasted on your last vacation might mislead someone who doesn’t know into thinking you’re an alcoholic.  If you plan to take your own picture, use your phone, not the camera on your computer—those kind of shots tend to be disastrous.

Ideally, a dating website photo should indicate that you are friendly—so choose a picture where you wear your normal smile. It’s also a good idea to have at least two photos, one of which is a full body shot. Don’t overdo it on the sexy factor here—when I say full body shot, I’m not talking about a centerfold image. Studies show that for men, it’s often best to choose a pic which shows you doing something semi-active like playing with your dog or hiking with your friends.  For some reason, indoor shots of women seem to be more popular with men on dating sites.

On the other hand men who post pictures of themselves doing only sporty stuff often get a lower response rate, so guys don’t overdo it here!

Tip: More is better!

Studies have shown that people who upload more than 4 profile pics get a lot higher response rate so put lots of pics in

Tip: Don’t include photos with the opposite sex (or same sex if you are gay!)

People universally don’t like to see this so avoid any snaps with you and your friends of the opposite sex.

Tip: Just have yourself in your main picture

Sometimes people put shots of them and their friends and its not obvious which person is the dater in question, so make sure its just you in your cover photo. BUT research shows that women don’t like selfies done by men, so guys get your friend to take your photo!  Don’t think you can crop your friend or ex out of a photo, people guess that you have done this when you post a thin picture and they don’t like it!

DO display your personality

Even if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, online dating gives you an opportunity to showcase your great personality.  Answer the dating site’s profile questions in a way which lets people see how interesting you are.  Have a short, witty answer for one of the dating site’s standard silly questions. Talk (without becoming verbose) about what interests you.

DO be honest in your online dating profile

Lying is never the basis for a good relationship. Do not pretend you are single if you are still getting a divorce. Do not pretend you’re a Fortune 500 CEO if you actually work in a call center. Don’t claim that you have an average body type if the clothes you buy all carry the tag “XL.” Don’t say you are 30 if you are really 50 (no matter how sure you are that you really look 30).

The no lying rule extends to photos as well—using a picture that shows you as you looked 10 years ago or 30 pounds ago may get you more initial online responses. But it will only make your first in-person meeting with a potential date extremely awkward.  And do you really want someone who only wants a thinner/younger/richer version of you, anyhow?

DON’T bore them before you even meet them

You wouldn’t walk up to a cutie you see at a party and start telling him or her your life story, would you? So don’t do that online. Avoid writing long essays in your dating profile about your life history, your taste in music, films and television, your political beliefs, or anything else for that matter. Keep your descriptions of yourself and the type of person you’re looking for short and sweet.  Give enough information to give people an idea of who you are—but don’t go into long, boring detail.  Entice potential dates with a few intriguing facts about yourself, but leave a bit of mystery.

Studies have shown that people who write less get more responses, and my friend Joe even went as far as to just put a picture his dog and almost no other info and got loads of responses!  You can watch a great and funny video that I recommend with some of the secrets to “hacking” online dating at Ted Talks.

Spelling and grammars important so do spell check and read over your profile before you put it live on your chosen dating site.

So what should  you write about?

Exercise, reading and music tend to increase the response rate of online dating profiles so if you are interested in these things then put it down with maybe one or examples of what you like (but if you are into something very gender specific like romance novels or train spotting or something then leave it out!)

DON’T highlight your baggage 

This is really important but is a mistake that many people make. Most people old enough to date online have been hurt more than once. However, making your pain, bitterness and resentment the centerpiece of your profile won’t help you attract Mr. or Ms. Right.

Avoid talking about how you’re the “nice guy who always gets put in the friend zone” or advertising that you’re looking for someone who “isn’t a liar like my last boyfriend.”

We get it. You were rejected and/or betrayed. It hurt. But showing someone your emotional bruises is never a good way to start an initial conversation.  Later on, if you find someone, you can play the couples’ game of “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” if you want.  As part of your profile however, this sort of information is the equivalent of walking up to a hottie at a bar and shouting angrily in his/her face or sitting there crying in your drink. Not attractive.

Best Online Dating Profile Tips Conclusion

So to sum up, keep those profiles short positive and witty, put up lots of great pics of yourself and you should start getting lots of responses and dates!


The Love Queen

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