Being single is not the end of the world, blah, blah, blah. I always hear this line. But I know many single ladies and gentlemen out there would say that that is one of the biggest nonsense of all time! They often dream about finding that person who they can snuggle with at night and share toothbrushes with.
On the other hand, many of my committed friends miss being single and the freedom it brings to them. But I guess yeah, sometimes, no, not just sometimes a lot of times we daydream about getting hitched. But why are you single? You are decent looking, smart and sexy and have a whole lot to offer but why oh why are still single and… LONELY?
Root Cause Analysis
No I’m not pertaining to the painful dental procedure. I’m talking about finding out why you are still single and why you feel so damned sad about it. In any situation or problem, there is a solution. Much like an an algebra problem, you need to find Y (why) and not just look in your X (ex!). You need to analyze why you can’t find the perfect person out there for you.
There is about seven billion in this planet and probably there is someone out there looking for you. YES THERE IS SOMEONE LOOKING FOR YOU. Someone who is the matchbox to your matchstick, the glue to your paper, the cream to your coffee (unless you prefer black coffee).
So what to do?
1. Look at the mirror. – I know you’re beautiful, you just have not yet realized it yet or you forgot about it. You need to look at yourself. Would date you if you if you meet yourself? Or would you find yourself disgusting? When was the last time to you took a shower? How do you see the real you? Are you the person in the pajamas or the hot chick in simple white tea, chucks and blue jeans or the one with a red dress or and black pumps?
2. What are the things that do? – Do go out to have some drinks with friends or do you just go home to play online games online? Do you love cooking or do prefer take out. Learn things about you that may seem good or bad and play it up. Fall in love with the person you are and improve on that. If you play online games and just diss everyone in the room chances are you won’t find a date there, but if you find a chick there, and you chat her up then it may be more interesting? Right?
3. What’s your playing field? – So now you know what you look like and you know the stuff that you do now it’s time to lay your hunting ground. Are you shy? Are you outgoing? Do you prefer meeting new people face to face? Or do you want to meet people online? You need to know which works for you.
Now that you have the key things about you and that you know what the issue is, we now go into addressing singleness and loneliness.
Single and Lonely – NOT!
Well first things first I know you are sad or maybe you are not sad, but you don’t want to single anymore so that is why you’re reading this article (or prolly you are just bored). Anyway let us now to into the task of finding that man or woman or stopping the loneliness.
From my own personal experience, I know how it can be to be single. You wish and wish to have someone to be with. You feel that having that partner would complete you. You just want to get in to a relationship.
We as humans are social animals. We desire to seek a partner because this is in our DNA. Sometimes the pull is so great that we fall into despair. But stop right there. I know it has been said many, many, many times but you should NOT be lonely anymore.
1. Stop the ALONE AND DESPERATE ACT – No one, literally no one wants to date a person who is just full of self pity and loneliness. There maybe some there that would kind of want to save another person but in the end they find this act really draining and toxic. So, if you want to find a partner, you got to see the brighter side of life.
It is unsexy to see someone constantly mopping around or is always angry and upset. People want to date people who give them positive energy. Someone who is vibrant and has energy. You don’t have to drink Red Bull like there’s no tomorrow, what it only means is be a ray of sunshine. You can do this by appreciating who you are.
2. Open your doors. – There was a time that online dating was considered a no-no; like something desperate people do. But NOT ANYMORE! This whole avenue of Tindr, Grindr, Match.com and a whole lot of dating sites is now actually a hip and easy way to find someone to talk to and eventually date. How can you ever find a mate if you constantly shut yourself out from the world? You have to be open to meeting new people. You have to socialize (either in face to face interaction or online).
3. Improve yourself – In the path of finding a mate, you should not just put all your energy in finding the other half. You are complete as yourself but you can supplement what you have. You can learn new things to improve yourself. Start a new hobby. Learn to highlight your features. Stop whining about being too fat and start working out. In the new places you go to, you can always meet someone who may as well be looking for a partner. If you start working on yourself, you will learn to fall in love with the person that you are, and believe it or not people find that attractive. Someone who is confident and talented is someone who vibrates datebility.
4. Reset your expectations – There is a ton of tips that I can give, but one of the most important things is that you need to fall for a person, not with how much he or she earns or what car he drives or her face and body. You need to reset your expectation. There maybe someone who has a great potential but you just ignore them because you feel that you are just way too good for them. Remember, you are also not perfect, but you are wonderful. Imperfections make people more interesting.
So my parting words? You need not be single and lonely. You can be single and happy or you can also be in a relationship if you take the time and effort to improve yourself, play up your good traits and then open yourself to dating. Do not despair. I mean in every situation that you are in, there is a great thing to discover. You can find someone. The internet is a vast place to find others and meet new people. You can also meet people at work or at the gym or at the supermarket. Have fun and happy dating!