So why do people cheat? This is the eternal question of every man or woman who have been cheated on or have known someone who has cheated. We tag cheaters as scheming, evil and treacherous people who disrespect loyalty. But what really goes inside the mind of a person who cheats? What makes a person a cheater? Are there different kinds of cheater?
Let us go ahead and take a look at some of the answers.
Let’s face it, sex is normally the leading cause of cheating. A lot of couples normally start off with tear-your-clothes-exciting-sack-sessions kind of sex before, but now, you hardly even ever have sex. Sometimes you even have to schedule it. And then there are those marriages or relationships that go on and on with no more sex. And sex is important in a relationship. According to studies, sex is one of driving forces of man; something that can shape his psyche and being.
Without sex, the relationship loses its shine; you become something like glorified roommates. I mean you may still both have a good relationship and all; like you hangout and are besties, but you are in a RELATIONSHIP and not just a FRIENDSHIP. If you love your partner, go and have sex with him or her.
Monotony (Looking for Some Spice)
A lot of people may think that people cheat because they are downright evil, but it is really not the case. I am not justifying what cheaters do, I do agree that it is something bad and hurtful, but there is always, always a reason why. Sometimes, the relationship just becomes bland and more like a routine that one of the people in the relationship wants to feel alive and excited again. At first they really don’t want to do this and hope that the relationship bounces back, but when it doesn’t, they start looking elsewhere.
This might start with something totally harmless, like having coffee with a close officemate or texting a person they met and it progresses. On the other hand, they may start with wild and sweaty sex because they think they will never have a chance for something exciting again. What’s worse about this is sometimes, they continue on doing this because they are looking for that high from cheating.
They feel like they have died in the relationship or like they have lost themselves – In other cases, people cheat because as the relationship progresses, they start to lose themselves. They no longer recognize themselves without their partners. They live just to please them hence, they lose their persona. Losing one’s identity is a painful thing. No one really wants to be a shadow. They start cheating because they want a sense of detachment from the relationship. They want to feel that, even without their partners they can be individuals who can act and think for themselves.
So they go about looking for themselves, then suddenly they meet this person who reminds them of who they were before. Then they begin to feel happy and excited. They think that being with that person would make them grow as a person again and not be just a shadow in the relationship. But the key here is to always have interesting individual lives so that you can both grow as a two people. No matter how long the relationship has been, you still have to keep a part of yourself for yourself.
Need for power
Much like #2, some people cheat because they want to feel empowered although this one is more negative. Some men cheat because they want to look better than other men because having more women makes them look and feel strong and powerful. Men are polygamous by nature. It is how nature has designed them. Curbing their testosterone urges takes willpower. On the other hand women cheat when they need power because they think that they can do anything and no man can hold them down. They feel that being able to have another man besides their partner makes them more independent.
Their Parents were Cheaters
Going to the times of Sigmund Freud, he said that we learn from our parents a lot. What we see in them even if we know it is wrong, we subconsciously relate it to something right. People who see cheating parents normally hate their parents but are subconsciously programmed to think that it is OK. When the relationship gets messy or there is something that they feel is wrong, they may resort to cheating just like what mom or dad did before.
Partner’s Personality Shifted
Their partners turned out to be a totally different person – Most people really do put their best foot forward in the initial stages of dating, however when all the smoke has died down they reveal a totally different personality. Their partners often fall for them because they thought that this person was kind, down to earth, and adventurous or whatever it was that attracted him or her to fall for
the other guy or girl. Sometimes it is instantaneous change where they see their partners shed the masks and they are able to break free from the relationship, however some people keep the masquerade on and slowly peel of their layers to reveal a totally different person. What happens is that their partners become sad and bitter.
Some people cannot handle this kind of deceit, but they can’t imagine breaking up either because they are already too emotionally invested in the relationship. So in the end, they go cheating to feel better about what happened. They complain and complain about their partners changing, well in fact their partner never changed because they have been that kind of person from the beginning.
I hope I have shed some light on why people cheat. There are so many other different reasons why people cheat like love, sex, money, attention or whatever it is. But before we judge those who cheat we must first understand why they did it. If we understand the reasons why people cheat, then we can prevent cheating. We can make our relationships fresh again and invest our time, love, energy and resources on our partners to keep the fire burning. Always remember that cheating is not a solution; if the relationship issues can no longer be fixed, it is better to break up than to be a cheater.