Human attraction is one of the most fundamental and primal instincts we have. It drives a lot of human motives and acts.
Lust is a combination hormones, physiological and psychological drives that can actually make us more healthy and happy and our relationships stronger.
Advice for Ladies: if you are having trouble getting the lust back into your long term relationship or marriage, click here to watch this video or read on to find out more about lust, what happens if its missing from your relationship, and what you can do about it.
Advice for Men: If you are finding that your wife or girlfriend isn’t responding to your desire for lust any more I recommend you watch this video to find out very easily how to ignite your woman’s fire again and get her super keen once more for sexual intimacy with you, or read on to find out more about lust.
What is lust?
Lust is a word defined as a strong sexual desire for someone. It drives us to be aggressive, sleepless and excited all the time. It is the fundamental source of human attraction and mating, and also for keeping people together.
What does lust do to us?
Lust drives human into a state of hormonal uproar. It delivers a big dose of hormones which can likened to humans turning insane or sometimes even drugged. The feeling is just unexplainable. It feels so good. It makes you feel like you’re on seventh heaven, especially if that lust is met by mutual feelings.
Hormones and Lust.
Testosterone and Oestrogen – These are the fire starters of lust and attraction. Testosterone spikes our need to more attractive to the opposite sex. This is not only for males alone. It ignites the feelings of lust. Testosterone makes us aggressive into achieving the attention of our desired mate.
Dopamine – This happy hormone makes us feel pleasure in moments we feel something is rewarding and beneficial to us. This hormone allows humans to continue doing things that promote wellbeing and continuity such as exercise, sex and work achievements. One also feels a surge of this hormone when we do undesirable drugs such as heroin, cocaine or from smoking caused by nicotine. We get a high level of dopamine when we are attracted. Which is likely why we feel such a high from being infatuated with someone.
Adrenaline or Norepinephrine – This hormone is responsible for our fight or flight response. It allows us to move quickly. At times it causes us to be irrational when we feel a strong desire for someone. This explains those clothes tearing, wild and sweaty spur of the moment sexual escapades with people we barely know or people who we’ve known before but normally would not have sex with. This hormone makes us revert to our primeval senses. The need to mate is difficult to supress once adrenalin surges in us.
Serotonin – This hormones alters states of sadness and allows us to feel calm. The lack of this hormone of when we are in the state lust is responsible for feelings or anxiety similar to some mental issues. The hormone also dictates our sleeping patterns since it produces another hormone that makes us feel sleepy called melatonin. When we are infatuated or attracted our body produces less of serotonin and more of dopamine and norepinephrine. This causes us to be sleepless, jealous and impulsive.
Effects of Lust (from the scientists)
Women – Women who feel attraction to someone would more likely want to show altruistic and helpful behaviour in front of the man/woman she desires. Our evolutionary development dictated women to be the nurturers and gathers. Men of the past saw women who can raise families as more attractive than other females. Women also tend to show gentleness and meekness to appear as a better mate.
Men – Throughout the animal kingdom, men have always fought for women’s attraction and tried to show off sexuality and masculinity. They tend to have an automatic testosterone increase as a response to feeling attracted to women. This allows them to feel less inhibited. Flirting becomes more natural to men. Since the hormonal response if fast and automatic, men find it more difficult to fend off feelings of attraction.
How healthy is lust?
Lust can be very healthy for us. It allows good circulation of our blood. It delivers an almost aerobic heart response when we feel attracted to someone and especially when we engage in sexual intercourse. Lust allows our brain to decompress and be more creative. Pablo Picasso, who has had many female inspirations is one good example.
Lust and sex are powerful tools for any relationship, especially long term ones! Those feelings keep us bonded, happy and close. And yet it’s the thing that actually often gets neglected.
Sex is one of the best if not the best form of exercise available there is. Releasing sexual urges allows our psyche to feel relaxed and balanced. This alleviates stress and fights depression.
On the other hand, uncontrolled sexual desires which are not properly alleviated can cause irritability, irrationality, depression and mental unrest. This may lead to mental illnesses or problems with your relationship. Allowing your body to let go of this pent up energy gives you a sense of balance. You may engage in self-gratification or in safe sexual intercourse with a partner to allow release.
Being one of the most intrinsic human needs, sex can drives humans into different actions and motives. Lust causes men and women to act in certain ways. Being able to take control and having a balanced sexual life lets us exist as happy, healthy human beings.
But what if you and your partner have been together for several years and things have gone a bit flat? Can you really have lust with someone that you have been with for years? Yes you can! But you do have to work at it.
How to get the lust back in your relationship even if s/he pulls away
When you first get with someone it’s usually all sex and lust, but after time it’s natural for these feelings to start to wane, and you might get to a point where you find your man or woman pulling away from you, or seeming to be uninterested in sex and lust. It’s been proven that rejection physically hurts (unlike other emotional pain), and this can make it really difficult to tackle this subject with your partner.
It also means that if you are getting rejected sexually by your partner, or you are doing it to them, it can be a real danger spot for a relationship and even damage the love and closeness you have with each other.
Men – what to do
Ok men I’m not going to lie, the rest of this article is more targeted towards my Love Queen Lady readers, so if you are a guy trying to get your girlfriend or wife to be more responsive and up for love and sex like she used to be then check this out. You’ll be surprised how easy it is when you know how!
Women – what to do
You may be feeling that your sexual needs are not being properly handled by your partner, but you may be afraid or not know how to say anything without upsetting him or yourself. Your boyfriend or husband needs to know these things, so how do you tell him in a way that doesn’t hurt his ego and still gets you what you want?
You also might wish you knew the right lusty things to say to him in bed, or before you even get into bed, to get him and yourself in the mood, that don’t sound cheesy or weird but instead sexy and enticing.
So how can we do this? Well first off we have to realise that men and women’s brains are different and respond to different things where sexuality is concerned. By knowing a little bit more about the way men’s brains work, we can find out exactly how to stimulate them in the best way and get them so crazy for you that they won’t even think of going with someone else or anything like that.
Knowing how to talk dirty isn’t something to be afraid of or embarrased about, in fact it’s something to embrace, and this is one of the key ways that I keep my own relationship with my Love King strong, even after all these years. It’s also not about simple dirty phrases or anything like that, instead its about creating powerful images in his mind and imagination, and once you know how you will find it pretty addictive as will he!
If you want to find out more about the best way to do this I recommend you watch this short but super interesting video.
Find out how to get the lust back into your relationship!