Love is one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to you. It is like a drug that gets you so high you can’t get enough of it. But as the months and years pass, love may start to fade away. Some people let their love die a natural death and just call it quits. But most people are willing to do something to rekindle the love that has started to fade away.
What is Love?
To define love would be difficult. There is absolutely thousands of ways to define love. Love is the binding force that puts humans together. It is also one of the most powerful and potent drugs naturally available to man. Love is a combination of hormones and neurotransmitters. It is a combination of dopamine, phenylalanine, oxytocin and endorphines.
Love is a powerful force that can put two totally different people together. Being loved by the person you love is one of the best feelings in the world. It can literally make you feel like you are on cloud nine. Love is so beautiful and powerful, that when it is gone, it can leave us devastated.
The Feelings Start to Fade
Everything new becomes old at some point. Anything old becomes ordinary and unnoticeable to us. As we grow together in the relationship, the novelty fades. The giddy feeling that you once knew slowly diminishes. The irks that you used to marvel at sometimes irritates you. You no longer feel the high from the first time you fell in love, rather you feel bored sometimes, all the time.
Before, when you look at your partner, you feel so lucky to have him. But now, you feel that lying next to him is such a chore. You often fantasize about other men or women. You feel that someone else can fulfill your dreams and fantasies. You just feel trapped and want to run.
Love is an Action Word
Love fades because we fail to feed the fire to keep it burning. When we no longer make an effort to make our partners and ourselves interested in the relationship, it becomes a chore. You both need to put some effort to make the love as good as new.
Ways to Bring Back the Love.
When you have been together for so long, you tend to neglect one another little by little. These small moments of neglect builds up and cause a rift in between the relationship. In order to make the love alive again, you must take time and do some effort to bring back the butterflies in your love life.
1. Say “I Love You” and MEAN IT.
Love fades because we forget about the other person and only think about ourselves. When we love someone, we must show them this love. If we do not show it to them, they will feel resentment towards us.
Saying “I love you” everyday is important. When you say these three words put in a smile, a hug and a kiss. Touching and cuddling raises oxytocin which makes us more bonded to one another.
2. Do New Things Together
If you have spent many years together but just have a “wash, rinse and repeat” kind of relationship, your love is likely to fade out. You must always keep things interesting by doing something new. Try traveling together or even doing something exciting together like riding the roller coaster or wake boarding. Take vacations to the countryside and do some farming together. It does not need to be expensive, it just needs to be new.
3. Have Sex More Often
When you are in a long term relationship, sometimes the intimacy takes a backseat. Things such as work, kids, problems take a lot of time and effort. This puts sex in the back seat. But having less sex makes the relationship stale and tasteless. Try having more intimate moments and have fun in bed together. As you grow older together your bodies change and exploring that together can give a new meaning to your life.
4. Try to Give a New Compliment to One Another Everyday
When your relationship has been there for so long, it makes you notice all the good things about your partner much less. But when you try to find something great about him or her again, this makes you learn to fall in love once more. You can also try to add gifts to the compliments or things that you would do for your partner. For example, your partner works hard for you, why not cook him a good meal to say thank you? Or if you wife tries to always look beautiful for you, try to compliment that about her or maybe treat her to a salon appointment.
5. Make the Effort
Remember when you just started dating? You would go the extra mile to shower, shave, put make up on or choose a nice dress? Well, some people turn into slobs once you have dated them for so long. You both need to put some effort to stay attractive to your partner. It does not matter if you’ve gained some weight or lost some of your hair. There is always a style or a haircut that would flatter you.
No one wants to sleep with a smelly pig. Do not forget that relationships need work. They don’t just grow on trees. If you love yourself and your partner, you will make an effort
Aside form grooming, you also need to show your love to your partner in acts of love. You need to still date her and buy her flowers. You still need to give me the massages he so love. Yes I know you have other things to do, but if you want that kind of love you see in movies, you need to work for it.
Ask any old couple who are still in love to describe their love and they will tell you that it grows. Love is like wine, it grows better with age and time. It may not be the sweet grape juice you once have had when you first had it, but love grows sweeter and better with time. From a romantic love to growing into a beautiful partnership and being forever best friends.
The raging hormones from the beginning may fade out, but love grows more beautifully as time passes. It is like a plant that you need to water daily in order for it to stay alive and grow. And much like a tree, it will provide you a place of rest and comfort even during the heaviest storms. Love grows, you just need to learn how to take care of it.
If you want some really specific advice on steps you can take to spice up your relationship and get that newly-in-love romantic feeling back, I highly recommend looking at this excellent video and guide here by fellow love expert Michael Fiore.