Being in a relationship is great. But of course we all know as time goes by love seems to fade out and the spark dies down. Having a strong bond and friendship allows the love to stay alive. It also helps you withstand trials in your relationship. A great friendship helps you understand one another more and also enjoy each other’s company better. So whatever other people say, being best friends with your boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse is just awesome.
The Relationship Cycle
All relationships go through a cycle. It almost always begins with a bang. You can’t get enough of each other. You want to spend time constantly with one another. You message each other constantly. We call this stage the honeymoon stage. After a few months, the high feelings are still there but it starts to dwindle. Fights begin and some couples break up and some stay. Texts and calls become less. As the months turn into years, some feel less and less connected.
There is this thing people call the one year, three year and seven year marks. This are the milestones that when crossed means your relationship is for the long haul. However feelings can die down. Some people go astray because they are longing for the spark that was once in their relationship. On the other hand some couples stay strong and their love grows as years and decades pass. What’s their secret? FRIENDSHIP.
Creating Friendship in Your Relationship
I know there is this movement of being your own man or woman but there is nothing wrong with being besties with your partner. You can see this in many long time couples. Old married people swear that their husband or wife is their best friend.
1. Talk often – You have to really want to get to know your partner, not just in initial stages of your relationship but as you grow together. You have to be interested in what he or she does and how he or she feels. You have to have the time to listen to his or her day. Validation and concern is a big deal in order to put friendship into your relationship.
2. Do things together – It does not matter if you’ve been together for two weeks or twenty years, you have to want to do things together. You need to spend time hanging out. You need to like each other’s company. Getting tired of the other person’s presence is a bad sign. You must be able to enjoy it when you are just down together.
3. Learn to have fun – Many couples lose their friendship and eventually respect and love for another because they forget a key factor in the relationship. They forgot to actually have fun. You need to learn to laugh together. You need to do fun things together. Don’t dismiss your wife when she is asking you to Netflix and chill.
4. Give each other respect – Respect each other and this includes not stepping into a person’s boundary. Never ever check your partner’s phone. Stop stalking each other out of distrust. Stop shouting and stop screaming.
Learn to listen, learn to speak with kindness. It does not matter if you’ve been together for two decades, time does not give you the license to disrespect your partner.
5. Be loyal – Loyalty does not only mean being faithful. That’s a given. Being loyal means you don’t ruin your partner’s reputation. Would you ever consider a friend a good friend if they back stab you? Of course not! This also holds true for relationships.
Complaining about your partner to others also makes you feel less for your partner. Even at times that you should be feeling great, when you start vocalizing your complaints, it creates an affirmation in your mind that there is something wrong with your partner.
Do not destroy each other behind each other’s back.
6. Laugh at simple things – Don’t sweat the small stuff. Laugh things off. Stop being irritated all the time with your partner. I know that those quirks that you found cute before can be annoying now, but remember, you aren’t perfect either. Learn to enjoy even small things like the morning coffee and eating together.
7. Have sex regularly – Sex opens doors for relationship. This is one of the things that often become neglected with time. If you truly care for your partner, you will try to satisfy his or her needs.
8. Remember to have a bit of space – You need to allow each other to grow. It’s boring to be in a controlling relationship. Allow your relationship grow by having your own separate time. Two individuals who constantly learn and grow create a beautiful bond because they can bring more into the relationship.
9. Do new things together – This may be a cliche but it does work. It not only brings the spark back into the relationship, it also helps create a strong bond between the two people in it.
10. Eat together – Meals are sacred. Eating together creates an environment of happiness. It creates a time to talk with each other. Don’t rush through your meal though. Eat together and have a conversation!
Friends and Lovers
Love is friendship on fire. It has to have those two elements: friendship and fire. It has to be both a place to find peace and comfort but also a place to find excitement and happiness.